My plan didn't work out like I had thought it would. I spent exactly one day in bed feeling sorry for myself. What I hadn't taken into account when I decided to take a week to mope around and collect my thoughts was that when you're having a big public vulnerable moment, people flock to you. People keep inviting me/us out, and in a desperate attempt to not be ungrateful, I haven't yet said no to anyone. We've been eating better now that Zach has been laid off than we did when we had income and I cooked most nights of the week. We've had so much support and so many people are praying for us, and so many people are trying to help Zach with networking and job searches. In the midst of all of this love and support, I'm not ok. I'm pretty sure this is what I was talking about in my last blog, the whole putting on the "I'm ok" mask and then falling apart at the seams...
Zach has been contacted about a potential job. It's a contract job that lasts only three months but pays about 2/3 of what he made all year last year. Sounds great! The one problem? The job is in California, so if he gets this job, he'll be living in California for three months... I'm very torn about this. On the one hand, it's a lot of money. On the other hand, we'd be apart for a long time. I don't know, is money so important that I'd be ok with him being gone so long? Or am I being silly worrying about it in this economy? Of course, that's saying he even gets the job.
I can barely think straight, and though I had a lot more to say, I think I'm just going to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.
