Wow, I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve
written on here! I’m not even sure where
to begin…
My surgery was over a year ago, and as strange as it sounds
I have to say it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. Looking back on my other blog entries, I had
almost forgotten how it felt to see the neck blob and hate it, hate me. People no longer spend half our conversation
glancing down at my chin. I no longer
have to strategically position cameras so I don’t look like I’m 350lbs. I no longer lean my head forward to stretch
and hide my neck. My confidence has
doubled, at least. I feel great!
We evicted the Sib from our basement earlier this year. Things had gotten quite bad, and we couldn’t
live that way any longer. My
relationship with the Sib had become strained and frustrating, my relationship
with Zach had become strained and frustrating, and my relationship with my
parents… well, that’s been strained and frustrating for a long time, so no
change there I suppose. We gave notice,
said if it was desired we would work on fixing the problems (which out of
respect for the Sib, I won’t list here), but it had to be on our terms. Well, 30-some-odd days later, our basement
was vacated. It took us several carpet
shampooings, lots of paint, and many, many
garbage bags, but we got it cleaned up enough that we could start bringing our
own furniture down and start using it. I
now have a place for my sewing supplies, which take up an entire 11’x11’
bedroom, and we now have a good sized usable home gym, as well as a family room
to sit and watch movies AND a second bathroom.
I thought I would have some sort of emotional breakdown when the Sib
moved out. I expected to go downstairs
and have a good cry and mourn the absence.
I did not. I felt relieved. I felt, for the first time in the 6 ½ years
we’ve owned the house, like a homeowner.
We had felt for far too long like we were the ones renting someone
else’s house. My relationship with Zach
has improved, since we aren’t fighting about who is going to talk to the renter
and solve the issue-du-jour (always me, because it was my family), and we
aren’t feeling so cramped in our little upstairs anymore.
We adopted a puppy from one of our local rescues in
September. They had a litter of 10
puppies that had been dropped off at a shelter in New Mexico, and even though
we weren’t planning on getting a dog for a few years, we instantly fell in love
with our Ruby. She’s some sort of
Shepherd/Malinois/Who Knows mix, and she’s so smart and beautiful! She has the coloring of a Malinois, but sometimes
she almost looks like she’s also got some Heeler or something like that. Some of her siblings look similar with the
black mask, some of them do not. Some of
them have shorter, straight hair like Ruby, and some have thicker, wavier
hair. It’s very interesting, and I
wonder if they have different fathers.
One thing they all have in common, though, is that definitive Shepherd
look. Ruby has been such a blessing for
us. We take her anywhere dogs are
allowed, and she loves everyone she meets, whether two or four legged.
I can’t remember the last time I felt this stress-free and
peaceful. Life has been good for the
last year or so and GREAT the last few months.
I’m going to take advantage of it, because it’s been so long since I’ve
been happy like this, and while I feel like life is getting better every day I
always have that anxiety that makes me wonder when the other shoe is going to
drop. All I can do is enjoy this time
that I have been given.
