By a Neck

6 days ago I had surgery on my neck, to remove a pocket of fat.  In other words: liposuction. 

I've struggled internally with my neck as far back as I can remember, since I've had any awareness of my appearance.  When a picture of me was taken, I immediately checked to see if I had a "double chin".  When I looked in a mirror, my first thought was "how bad does it look today?".  I can remember being a teen and young adult and talking with my mom about our shared hatred for our fat necks.  No matter how fit I ever got, it was there.  I always had a fat face, looking heavier than I was because of it.  I started having bad posture because I would sit with my head forward so as to minimize the appearance of my fat neck.  I always said "If I ever get the money, I'm getting it removed." 

Well, this year, that dream came true for me. 

I'm getting back into acting this year.  I started filming a movie, and noticed how big my double chin had gotten.  I knew I had gained some weight, but it had gotten ridiculous. 

I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but I stopped leaving the house as much because I was so focused on my neck and how awful it looked.  When I took this picture, I was sitting on the couch watching TV and I had the thought "I wonder what it looks like during normal activity..."  I pulled out my cell phone and, without moving at all, snapped this photo.  I think this was the moment I decided to act on my desire to once and for all be rid of the neck fat and move on to the future with confidence.

I began researching surgeons in the area, eventually finding a particularly appealing doc in Denver.  I looked up the procedure, cost, downtime, everything I felt I needed to know.  Building up a case for myself to talk to Zach about it, I expected to have to justify and fight for it.  After his shower one night, I cornered him in the bathroom.  Our conversation went like this:
"So, you know how much I hate my neck..."
"Yeah..."
"Well, I found a doctor in Denver..."
"You want to get it done?  Go for it, if you can fit it into the budget."
"Are you serious?  You're ok with this?"
"Babe, you've been talking about this since we were teenagers.  I support whatever you want to do."

At that point I burst into tears and we had a nice long hug.  I definitely had not been expecting that conversation to go so smoothly.  Similar easy conversations happened with the other people I told, too.  That was such a relief I can't even describe it in words.  I had support from my friends and family.

It took me a week to build up enough courage to schedule a consultation with the doctor.  Even after I finally scheduled it, I worried all week before going in. "What if it's too expensive?"  "What if he tells me I'm too fat for liposuction and need to lose weight first?" "What if I get a bad feeling about the place and have to start over looking for a new doctor?"  Well, my fears were pointless, and the consultation went as smoothly as my conversation with Zach.  The doctor was incredibly nice, the price was actually in our budget (as in we could pay in cash), and he didn't say anything about my current weight in relation to getting my neck fat out.  We penciled in the closest open surgery date so we could go home and discuss everything before making a final decision and putting down a deposit.  Zach, the Sib and I talked on the way home (the three of us went together), and nobody had a bad feeling about this doctor, so the next day, Zach called them and officially scheduled me for April 4, 2012 at 2:30pm.
 

The next 2 weeks were spent working on the short film we had started weeks earlier, so I was fully distracted from my upcoming surgery.  That helped immensely with my surgery-related stress.

The morning of the procedure, I decided to post about it on my Facebook and let everyone know I was going in to have a fat pocket removed from my neck.  I had so many supportive comments left for me, and I was feeling great going in for surgery.  They were even running ahead of schedule and called to ask if I could come in even earlier, which was great for me!

I had to fill out a little more paperwork, then it was off for a urine test (I'm not pregnant, YAY)
 and a wardrobe change (apparently, even if you're just getting chin lipo, you still have to wear the surgical gown open to the front...), as well as the port for my IV inserted.  The nurse had trouble with her first try getting it in, and I had a little panic episode and threw up.  She apologized profusely even though I told her it was my normal reaction to needles.  Her second try went much better.  The anesthesiologist came in and told me it was good for her if I threw up, and we had a nice laugh about it.  She put a nausea patch behind my ear.  Then, my surgeon came in to mark my face for surgery.  The atmosphere was so positive and fun and we had some nice laughs getting ready to go in.  He could tell I was still nervous, and he gave me a pat on the knee and told me everything would be fine and they'd take good care of me.  That actually made me feel much better.  At that point, the anesthesiologist started some kind of fluid (I think it was a sedative), I gave Zach a kiss, and the nurse and I waddled into the operating room.  There were several people bustling about, they told me to lay on the table and I thought "I'm feeling loopy, there's no way I'll make it onto the table", but I made it.  They strapped down my arm, put on the mask thing, and I was OUT.

I woke up seated but reclined in a chair.  My first thought was about how little pain I felt.  I was seriously tired though, and all I wanted to do was sleep, but they wouldn't let me.  The nurse (a new one I didn't recognize) had me sit up so I could get dressed, but I got sick and threw up again.  Once that was over, I finally got dressed, sat down in a wheelchair, and they brought me out to the car to go home.  They gave me a bag just in case I got sick on the drive home, but I didn't. 


I slept most of the next few days, but I had to get up several times a day to walk so I wouldn't get an embolism.  My face felt all tingly and numb, but overall the pain was bearable.  Of course, you don't realize how much you use your neck muscles until they hurt.  I could hardly talk, I could hardly eat, I needed help getting into an upright position.  I was bruising pretty badly at this point.  My neck, face, and chest all had bruising.  Swelling wasn't bad the first few days though, and I got some good pictures on day 3 when I took the bandages off to put on the compression garment:

There was a nasty looking bruise on the right side of my neck, but it didn't hurt at all.  It did, however, make me feel a little ill when I first saw it, so I immediately went back to bed after I got the compression garment on my head. 

On Day 4 or 5, I got some nausea for the first time since getting home.  It was sudden, it was over quickly, and it never happened again.  Weird.

On about Day 4 or 5 as well, I started swelling more:

Those pictures were taken earlier today.  I'm frustrated with it, but I know I'm not quite a week out from surgery, and it will go down soon.  The numbness and tingling gets better by the day, and the bruising is that ugly green/yellow color of healing.  Even my posture is already getting better!!

I'm looking forward to the day I can put on a full face of makeup, style my hair, and wear a nice outfit to go out on a date with my husband, confident with my new neck!